Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls — introducing Tribune Co. CEO Randy Michaels! He has a brilliant new idea that will make WGN-AM 720 news more riveting and enthralling— and help the Tribune Company emerge from the fiery ashes of bankruptcy and (financial?) disputes of how to fill time slots…by micro-managing the news staff?
As Robert Feder reports on his blog, Randy Michaels has come up with a list of 119 words and phrases that are banned from use on the 50,000 watt flagship radio station. (And not a single one is dirty.) Why dwell on big problems when there are small ones nobody ever knew existed? Michaels’ point is that these phrases are overused and he’s encouraging the news staff to be more creative. But this list is so all-encompassing and broad it will probably only cause the news staff to miss deadlines because they’re thumbing through their Roget’s. WGN’s very own News Director, Charlie Meyerson, in what must have been an especially brown-nosing memo explaining the new rules to staff, goes so far as to specifically encourage employees to rat each other out with the date and time an outlaw phrase was used. That must be great for morale.
Well, if you can’t manage, micro-manage.
Randy Michaels’ Forbidden ‘Newsspeak’ Words & Phrases
- “Flee” meaning “run away”
- “Good” or “bad” news
- “Laud” meaning “praise”
- “Seek” meaning “look for”
- “Some” meaning “about”
- “Two to one margin” . . . “Two to one” is a ratio, not a margin. A margin is measured in points. It’s not a ratio.
- “Yesterday” in a lead sentence
- “Youth” meaning “child”
- 5 a.m. in the morning
- After the break
- After these commercial messages
- Aftermath
- All of you
- Allegations
- Alleged
- Area residents
- As expected
- At risk
- At this point in time
- Authorities
- Auto accident
- Bare naked
- Behind bars
- Behind closed doors
- Behind the podium (you mean lecturn) [sic]
- Best kept secret
- Campaign trail
- Clash with police
- Close proximity
- Complete surprise
- Completely destroyed, completely abolished, completely finished or any other completely redundant use
- Death toll
- Definitely possible
- Diva
- Down in (location)
- Down there
- Dubbaya when you mean double you
- Everybody (when referring to the audience)
- Eye Rack or Eye Ran
- False pretenses
- Famed
- Fatal death
- Fled on foot
- Folks
- Giving 110%
- Going forward
- Gunman, especially lone gunman
- Guys
- Hunnert when you mean hundred
- Icon
- In a surprise move
- In harm’s way
- In other news
- In the wake of (unless it’s a boating story)
- Incarcerated
- Informed sources say . . .
- Killing spree
- Legendary
- Lend a helping hand
- Literally
- Lucky to be alive
- Manhunt
- Marred
- Medical hospital
- Mother of all (anything)
- Motorist
- Mute point. (It’s moot point, but don’t say that either)
- Near miss
- No brainer
- Officials
- Our top story tonight
- Out in (location)
- Out there
- Over in
- Pedestrian
- Perfect storm
- Perished
- Perpetrator
- Plagued
- Really
- Reeling
- Reportedly
- Seek
- Senseless murder
- Shots rang out
- Shower activity
- Sketchy details
- Some (meaning about)
- Some of you
- Sources say . . .
- Speaking out
- Stay tuned
- The fact of the matter
- Those of you
- Thus
- Time for a break
- To be fair
- Torrential rain
- Touch base
- Under fire
- Under siege
- Underwent surgery
- Undisclosed
- Undocumented alien
- Unrest
- Untimely death
- Up in (location)
- Up there
- Utilize (you mean use)
- Vehicle
- We’ll be right back
- Welcome back
- Welcome back everybody
- We’ll be back
- Went terribly wrong
- We’re back
- White stuff
- World class
- You folks
WGN lost me after almost nine years when they took off Kathy and Judy, put on that jerk Gary in the afternoon, then put someone not from Chicago in the morning slot. Will take more than banning “newspeak” to get me back.